One Day At The Time

By Semperpapa

That is the way it has to be, as certain things cannot be rushed nor imposed.

I am a smoker, have been one for many years. I can say that I really gave into the addiction and habit when I turned 18.

Up to that time, mind you it was 1978, smoking was cool and gave stupid kids like me the illusion of belonging to the mature masses of adult smokers. But as life demands changed, so did the image that that cigarette took in my mind.

All through High School, that cigarette was a social symbol aimed at making me cool and accepted by those around me. Once out of High School and faced with the the need to establish a plan for the rest of my life, that cigarette became more of a companion than a social statement. I was definitely addicted.

The last 34 years have seen tobacco smoking going from a dubious, misguided symbol of coolness to a pretest for ostracism. We smokers have been maligned into a group marked for elimination via legalized persecution.

OK, maybe I am exaggerating a bit, but in reality not too much.
Leaving aside the restrictions instituted to protect non-smokers, restrictions which, by the way, I not only agree with but engaged in long before they became law, forbidding smokers to smoke within the city limits of a town, or in their own homes or in their vehicles gets really close to trampling the basic rights of alleged free people.

Smokers have been dubbed every name in the book from stupid to immoral. While I may be inclined to sort of agree with the former, I strongly reject the label of immoral just because I like to lit up a Marlboro once in while, in the privacy of my home bunker or of my car. And it would not surprise me if some of those who consider my smoking "immoral" for the detrimental impact it may have on others are fervent supporters of abortion. I know, nobody ever promised me that people would make sense all the time, or even some of the time.

My problem with smoking is that I really enjoy it. It does have a calming effect on my nerves and I am addicted to it. Only those who share the whole concept with me can understand. It is as if I tried to understand the addiction that alcoholics have: I can understand the addiction part but, not being a drinker, not the attraction to the feelings of intoxication.

Researchers have stated that addiction to nicotine may be as powerful as the one to heroin. Never done heroin or cocaine or any other illegal substances, so my comparative ability is very limited. What I know for sure is that every time I have attempted to stop smoking, the results have been less than successful.
Today I am on day 24 of my latest attempt to rid myself of this addiction. And I am doing fine, mostly because the choice was mine and while my family has been insisting that I kick the bad habit, it was my decision about the time and the modality of my attempt.

First is motivation: I have been a smoker for over three decades and even someone as addicted as I am can find a spark of lucidity strong enough to understand that that shit is going to kill me. So the motivation is simple: I rather be around those I love for a while longer.

Second is trickery: I have been telling my body that I am just delaying the purchase of the next pack until later. The mind wants to remove those chains but the body screams against it. Victory in a war is the collections of as many victories in smaller battles as possible. Two hours without smoking is a small victory on the first day. A full day is a bigger battle yet, and so on.

Third is stubbornness: one of the things that everyone has been telling me in the past is that smoking is as much a habit as an addiction. As much as I agree with that statement, the suggestion that I need to change my habits, that I must give up certain behavior that may be related to smoking in order to resist the urge is unacceptable. Let me explain.
The common approach is to avoid any action that may be associated with a cigarette. One of the best times of the day for me is when I first get up in the morning and have my first cup of coffee. Well, that first cup of coffee comes with a cigarette, probably the best cig of the day together with checking out the news on line.
According to common knowledge I should have rejected that first cup of coffee too, and checking up on the world. Instead I still maintain the same routine minus the cigarette. It probably made it harder, but I forced myself to not have to give up more than I had to. Plus resisting the urge for that first smoke made the rest of the day almost easier.

One thing I can assure everyone it will not happen. This smoker is not going to become one of those ex-smokers that many want to take to the woods and execute.
I am not going to preach to other smokers what they should do. It is a personal decision, just like any other behavior. I will try to help anyone who asks me, but will not volunteer practices that are going to make it "easier" because nothing does.
The patches, the gum, the pills, the hypnosis, the e-cig, they all are successful in their own way. And they are not. If you are looking for a way to quit smoking that will not involve pain and withdrawals and nervousness, save your money.
Any of those methods will help only, and ONLY if, you really want to quit. But if you do, than you do not need any of them.

It gets better. On day 24 is much better than t was on day 1 or 2, 10 or 23. Still get some urges, but they become easier to control as time goes by.
The reward for me is that my family is around me, that I can hug my grandsons without leaving them smelling like an ashtray; that my bunker at home does not reek of spent cigarette butts.

What it comes down to is that smoking, just as any addiction, is a matter of personal decision.
I will be a smoker for the rest of my life, but I can make the conscientious decision to postpone smoking the next one as long as possible and do so one day at the time.

Just my thoughts!