The True Meaning Of My Christmas

19 December 2009

It is that time of the year again, the time when many Americans are rushing around trying to cross over every name on their Christmas list upon picking up that “special” present.
Even in the mix of a deep recession, Americans are still abiding by the rule of shopping that has become the norm for our society.

As it happens every year, many of us reflect on the usual recrimination about the true meaning of Christmas being gone, and yet we mostly do so while in line for that one next gift or when it is time to further deplete our finances.

Well, I too reflect on what Christmas really means to me.

The real meaning of the celebration remains embedded in my religious beliefs always, but it was greatly enhanced when on Christmas Eve 1984, I became a father for the first time. That particular year, the idea of going Christmas shopping was not even a consideration as the time of my daughter’s birth was fast approaching. As a 25 year old soon-to-be dad, the hope for finding the perfect gift for my wife was completely obfuscated by my hope, with lot of praying added, that she and my baby were going to be well. Nothing else really mattered at that particular time.

I feel it is human nature to search for some symbol that defines our existence, and as much as I fear that the significance of that symbolism has lost some of its value today, personally becoming a dad was the proof that my existence was truly meaningful.
I knew nothing about being a father, especially of a girl, and as she did not come with an instruction manual, I found myself in the on-the-job-training of my life.
And yet, even as the concern about my ability to be up to the job was at time paralyzing, I looked at the birth of my daughter as the greatest Christmas gift that I have ever received that year and every year since.
What the birth of my daughter also meant was my realization that the miracle of life is a serious, binding contract with my God about the priorities in my life. It made it very clear to me that the most important aspect of my life, the very true proof that my life had a meaning, was to be a good husband and a good father, and as much as I have failed repeatedly at many things, at least I can in clear conscience say I tried my best.

Even if I am not an overly religious person, I understood the hope that the birth of Christ brought to mankind in the hope that the birth of my daughter brought into the tiny, insignificant sliver of history that is my life. And that Christmas gift from God and my wife 25 years ago also made me understand even more clearly that the fortune I had been enjoying as the husband of my wonderful wife, was more real than ever.

When my son was born in July 1987, the miracle of the Christmas gift was again replicated. Again the fears and doubts were rekindled, but as a “veteran” father, they were more subdued, and he was a boy which gave me the impression that I may be a little more equipped to be a good dad for him.
For my wife and I, Christmas had become the time when we enjoy looking at our kids opening their presents on Christmas morning. Looking at their big eyes as they discovered the next present; in reality looking at them being kids.
With the passing of time, the true meaning of Christmas has gained strength within me, transcending the time of the year, manifesting itself every day via the excellent job my wife did in raising our children. Through her indefatigable effort, my daughter and my son have been giving me Christmas presents every day of the year by just being who they are, by the choices they made, by the behavior they have exhibited every day.

So now it is Christmas 2009, by all aspects the most intense Christmas in the last quarter of a century. My family has grown by leaps and bounds in just the past 14 months with my daughter first and my son later getting married and my son and daughter-in-law having their first child, my grandson.
This Christmas season is one of intense mixed emotions: as we celebrate my daughter’s professional achievements with the new job she will be starting in January and my son-in-law educational pursuits, we are also enduring my Marine son deployment to Afghanistan and attempting to support my daughter-in-law as she raises our grandson and as she endures the life of a Military wife. And she is a great Military wife!

As I see people scurrying around looking for the “special” gift, I wait anxiously for the great gift of hearing that my daughter-in-law has heard from my son and that he is doing well. I get a new gift every time my daughter walks in my house. I get a new gift every time my daughter-in-law comes to see us with my precious grandson. I get a new gift every time my family is sitting in my home, laughing and demonstrating each other love and respect.
My son already gave me an early Christmas present, few days before shipping out to Afghanistan. As we sat on the patio of my home having a smoke, the conversation fell on my recrimination about never serving in the Military, at which point my Marine son told me that I served in a different way, by being a father to him and his sister. Could I ask for a greater gift?

Never before I had wanted time to pass quickly as right now, because I have some incredible Christmas gifts coming in 2010: my daughter’s new job, my son-in-law academic achievements, my son home coming, my daughter-in-law giving us our second grandchild.
So really it is always Christmas for me, every day of my life.

The true meaning of Christmas for me is my wife Adriana, my daughter Jaclyn and her husband Brian, my son Frank and his wife Jessica and my grandson Noah and who knows, maybe a granddaughter.

Merry Christmas to all, especially those serving our great country and their families!

And these are my thoughts!
Frank “Semperpapa”